Breathing

Difficult times. 
I’m having a difficult time.
Breathe. Breathe in, then out, 
slowly through the mouth. 

I’m not going to offer advice about 
how to get through it, not even gonna try. 
Instead I’m gonna tell you how 
I’m getting through this. 
I breathe in through the nose, 
then out slowly through the mouth.

I’m trying to wake up at a similar time 
everyday, (doesn’t always work). 
I get dressed - even though I stay at home. 
I do my hair, and sometimes put on make-up. 
I try to exercise everyday, 
either through yoga or walking. 
The more strenuous stuff I've given up, for now. 
I need light exercise, just movement - that is enough. 
Breathe.

I don’t snack too much - 
just eat at regular times. 
As I breathe in I count slowly to 5.

I get caught up on my social media feeds. 
I try to put the phone down, sometimes I can, 
and sometimes I can’t - but I’m not 
going to be too hard on myself. It’s OK. 
I breathe in, counting to 5, 
then I hold my intake and slowly breathe out 
through the mouth.

Sometimes I lie on my bed, I make a nest, 
with pillows and blankets. I just lie there. 
I think of my family that I haven’t seen, 
I wonder what they are doing. 
I imagine they are safe, happy, 
and coping with what is happening. 
I talk to my mum everyday at 4.30pm.
Breathing, in and out. Slowly.

I sit at the window and watch 
people walking in bubbles, or jogging past. 
I think about crowds, 
and what it was like to be on a crowded train. 
I used to complain about crowded trains - 
I wonder if I will do that again?
I breathe in, counting to 5, 
then I hold my intake and slowly breathe out 
to the count of 7. 

Sometimes I snack on the news, 
on what is happening around the world. 
I look at the numbers and can’t make sense of it. 
Then I start again on my social media feed, 
just to dull my mind, 
to flatten the numbers. 
I breathe in, then as I breathe out 
I relax my shoulders down.

I’m still working. 
So fortunate that I do. 
It gives my weekdays structure, 
I’m busy during that time, 
focused and the days blur from one to the next. 
I breathe in, I breathe out, I relax my shoulders.

Lately, I haven’t been snacking on the news, 
and I’ve been feeling guilty, 
because I don’t know the numbers. This is complicated. 
But, I’m getting through. I’m lucky. 
I’m breathing.

Hi.
How’s it going?
I hope you are well. 
Catch you next week xx.