Another short set to wake up to on the beautiful June day. Affirmations keep my spirits up. The make me smile, sometimes laugh out loud. And, that’s what we need – a bit of laughter therapy. Have an amazing day.
I’m the person who teaches people how to treat me
I set healthy boundaries
I’m on a self love journey
I’m responsible for my own energy
I don’t take myself too seriously
I laugh out loud at myself and the strange situations I get into
To view more thoughts about affirmations, go to my YouTube channel: click here.
Hello beautiful people of the world. This month the challenge is to use affirmations to create self worth and a positive belief in my future. So, I thought I’d share a few of these with you each day in June
You are worthy
You can take up space
You are strong
You can creatively solve problems
Your imagination is powerful and can help you overcome any situation
You see the world in a unique way, which has value to this world
You being you is enough
Also sharing affirmations, poetry and thoughts about painting on my YouTube channel: Click here.
Yesterday I took my mum out and met my sister for coffee. It was lovely to spend time with them both, especially as in lockdown I wasn’t able to visit.
Everything is a bit Christmasy, tinsel and trees in most shops. However, not as busy as usual. I think, even though we are not in lockdown now, many people are still keeping away from places where people are.
It’s been a difficult year.
Olivia, my daughter, arrives tonight and will stay for a week. So looking forward to having her stay. Its easy to get stressed out around this time, as commercialism can take over, but if we concentrate on family, friends and relationships it can ease that pressure. That’s my take on it anyway.
Tomorrow Grant, Olivia and I are heading to Devonport, it’s a lovely spot with quant shops and cafes, so looking forward to head out and enjoy the day with them.
If you don’t know what to do and you’re feeling overwhelmed saying ‘thank you’ might not be the first thing that comes to mind, but it works. I recently listened to a spiritual leader called Mooji who said just saying ‘thank you’ is enough to change or shift your mood or position on the day.
If you just repeat those simple words, “thank you… thank you… thank you…” and keep repeating. After a while a peace settles in and then you will start to see all the people and things in your life that you are thankful for.
I’m writing this because I’ve had to do this exact exercise this week a couple of times already. I’ve let my mind become a monster. It is so easy to do and the mind seems ready to jump into that character pretty quickly. Allowing myself to over worry, overthink and imagine fictitious fear mongering scenarios, all which keep me overwhelmed and anxious. It’s hard to stop a habitual way of thinking, and it will take some work, but in the end to carry a sense of peace is worth the effort.
So , when I learn of little things, like repeating the words ‘thank you’ and find that it actually works, I’m happy, actually excited, to share with you. Because, for me, 2021 has probably been one of the hardest years I’ve ever experienced. Any form of peace I can hold for myself these days is precious.
This quote seems to fit where I’m at right now.
The center that I cannot find is known to my unconscious mind.
W. H. Auden
Well I trust the unconscious mind knows, because most days I certainly don’t. I did make a short Vlog this week that discusses value and holding on to our unique creative ability. If you want to watch that, click here.
Hope you have a peace-fueled week. Catch you next time xx
As I’ve stated in earlier posts, I’m working my way through Julia Cameron’s book, The Artist’s Way. This week is chapter 8, Recovering a Sense of Strength. So, over the week I’ve been contemplating how to gain strength as an artist, which is difficult, because I feel so weak. Trying to find a path, or something to hold onto, is so tenuous. I find something, open a door, head that way only to find I’ve suddenly lost interest, or it’s not what I thought it would be.
But I’m determined.
So, this week I started a free online course called “Follow the Breadcrumbs”, which is run by Nicholas Wilton from Art2Life. The course only takes about 30 – 40mins a day for 5 days, where participants are asked to follow clues (breadcrumbs), and learn about creativity in art, how it makes you feel, where you want to take it and so forth.
As I write this I’m only on day 2 but finding the process very emotional.
Several years ago I finished the biggest project I’d ever worked on, it took about 10 years to complete and since then I haven’t been able to commit to anything major. I’ve done bits and pieces, and all of those smaller projects have been beautiful in their own way, but I haven’t been able to strive or push into a project like I use to. I haven’t been able to risk myself to my creativity – which I did in the past. I believed it was the only way to be creative.
Maybe, it was youth, or naivety that pushed me that far and now I’m older and wiser – but since finishing that project, honestly, I’ve just felt lost.
So I try drawing and painting, I write prose and poetry, I try experimental filmmaking, I try writing this blog.. and find some enjoyment, some motivation and purpose, but there still seems to be something missing.
I don’t think I’ve opened up in this way on the blog before, because I haven’t until this moment realised that I need art to find me –
I really need, art to just come and find me again.
Today on the “Breadcrumbs” challenge we draw/painted/wrote – expressions of what made us happy or joyful as a child, and what I painted – was joyful but also painful, which woke me up. It woke me up because art needs to reflect myself personally to make sense. The striving, and risk taking I did before – worked because that was where art was finding me, that was where I personally was, and I’ve been believing I always had to be in that place.
But I’m not there anymore – so, art can’t find me there.
Of course art can find me when I’m weak too, I just didn’t realise that till now.
Maybe this is a prayer, or a meditation, that I’m sending the universe. Art please come and find me – because I need you more than ever, in this weak vulnerable state.
Please let me know where you are at, with art or life in general.
2022 Update: I have now started a new project – something big… to view my thoughts about this on my YouTube channel click here.
What is it to have faith? Faith is about believing in something you can’t prove. I can’t prove that when I start a creative project I’m going to see it through, that I’m going to create something I’m proud of, or that I’m going to have success.
When a writer starts a novel, when a musician starts a song, when a sculptor starts a new project there is no way of knowing what the results will be. But they start anyway.
Yep. It’s frightening even terrifying at times and without faith in the process creatives may not make a start at all.
When I started to prepare for my upcoming residency at RM Gallery I only had a vague idea of a starting point – no idea how the process would go let alone the outcome. And it is nerve racking, part of me is constantly criticising the process and sabotaging my faith in my ability. And, that’s absolutely normal.
Creativity isn’t always easy, and it’s not always fun. I love being a creative but sometimes it’s just bloody hard work, and most of that is inner-work for me, combatting fears and overcoming my own insecurities. But, with all that I have faith in the process.
Faith isn’t completely blind. This is where we need to remember the things we have done before. Even though they may not be the same, the process may differ, the creative project may be completely different, we have accomplished things before. We’ve done stuff!! When in doubt try to take your mind back and remember that thing you did… at the time you also didn’t think you could do it, or didn’t know how your were going to do it – but you did it! You did that thing! Whatever it was, you did it! So faith in the process is not completely blind.
Below is a recent Vlog I did, where I comment on my process and admit that I don’t know exactly where this project is taking me – but that’s OK, as I believe in the process.
Remember to keep going. Have faith. You can do it.
It’s just a small thing. Compared to everything else. But there is a habit I’ve developed that is so frustrating me and wasting my time.
I feel so unmotivated and at limbo. It’s not that I don’t have projects on that I’m excited about. It’s more that I’m in this waiting state. I keep telling myself to do better, but then each day I fall harder into the habits I’m trying to break. I feel a bit of a fraud – especially writing this blog and encouraging people, even I can’t find my own footing.
One habit I’ve fallen into is scrolling. Yes, it’s been part of my daily experience for some years, but since lock-down during Covid-19, in New Zealand, this habit is more like an addiction.
My time gets sucked into the phone on different apps and social media depending on my day. If I have the slightest break or time spent waiting, or time I should be doing something else, but it isn’t urgent, I find myself on my phone.
The last month it has gotten a lot worse. Just constant, and it’s bugging the hell out of me. I keep telling myself something like, “only 10 minutes more” and 45 minutes goes past and I’m so pissed off. This is not me. I’m not this person. I’m a middle aged professional, goal orientated creative – stuck scrolling!!! I know this is a small thing, but just felt I needed to write about it.
The only person here to blame is me and I’ve got to get out of this situation. I want to identify a few things before I move on, maybe clarify, for myself, how the phone can work for me and how it works against me.
The phone I have, probably like yours, is a computer attached to a network with constant changing, growing information. If I randomly want to know something, like you, I Google it. If I need to get somewhere, I use maps. I use my phone to message, email, bank, and so it goes on. In this way it is an asset, a tool to use in our society. These are functions that make sense. But then there are other functions like social media, which is touted as a place to stay connected. And yes, they do keep me connected to friends, I also use social media in business and creative opportunities. This is not new, I’m not writing about something you don’t already know, I’m just trying to work it through for myself.
It’s not that there is an amount of time that is OK, and a time that is not OK. That is up to the individual. But for me I’ve passed some kind of comfort zone. What I’m finding is that I’m unhappy about this time. When Covid-19 first started I kept checking the news, which led into scrolling, waiting for more news, and then news that gets interpreted on social media sites, friends’ comments and so this watching, waiting, reading, scrolling began. Now it’s more just a way to lose my time, a willingness to suspend a lived experience for a mind on hold, dulled by pictures and posts.
So, what to do…
To think more on this and review my thoughts and behavior patterns I’ve decided to have a social media free weekend.
Just writing that seems such a letdown – how could I get to this point.
Anyway, that’s what I did.
Saturday seemed to go fine. I did find myself needing to keep ‘busy’. Happy accident that this busy was productive but I don’t believe ‘busy’ is always the best remedy.
Sunday was more difficult. I did glance at a couple of posts a few times, but did not stay to scroll. I also used my phone apps more – probably substituting phone time.
Now it’s Monday morning.
I think there is a couple of things I need to do. First, I’m going to remove Facebook app off my phone. I don’t need it. I don’t even like Facebook. So why feel obliged to have it?
And, I’m going to limit my time on Instagram. I think it’s the only way for me. See how I go anyway.
But I don’t want to go back to how its been these last months.
I want to move on. That was that.
Not sure this was helpful, or that interesting but it is what I have for now.
Often glorious finds come my way because others have shared what they are reading, watching, or engaging with. So, this post is all about sharing things I have found.
Firstly, I want to share a video from KarenBritChick. Her YouTube channel is about fashion and she does this amazing series called What everyone is wearing in New York. I love the street vibe and the way she discusses personal style. I especially like the fact that the videos are quite long, so I can settle in and really enjoy the New York vibe. But the video I want to share today is something quite different. Due to what is happening globally I think this is the perfect introduction to her: My experience with racism/What is it like to be Black?
I listen to Russell Brand (occasionally), I like how he approaches very difficult subjects with curiosity. He also has a podcast, Under the Skin, but I think this is a good introduction to him, and it’s not too long: What I’ve Learned This Week
There’s a couple of other Youtubers I want to share with you.
Firstly, Yoga with Adriene, there is so much I can say about this channel, but it’s best just to go there and try something yourself. Here are a couple of favorites. Yoga for Courage: This practice is full-on, but it reminds me to have faith in myself and my body. Moon Practice: Very gentle practice for those days when you need more peace than challenges.
This one is quite different, Kutovakika, who inspires creativity through her ingenious self-styled photography. She shares a step by step approach with both cameras and phone-cameras, so you can follow along. Mostly she uses everyday items, which means you don’t need all the equipment. She also has some knitting tutorials, which I have yet to check out. Also, I love looking at her Instagram page: @kutovakika
For something quite different, here is an interactive documentary by Mariette Sluyter titled, Bread. This documentary is so sweet, I just love the women talking about their cultures and how they have brought modes of being (and baking) into their new Canadian country.
Because I’m into creating film and love moving image, this one is just a must. Art of the Title. This website explores the creation of title making for films. The range is so diverse, and they incorporate who made the titles and sometimes, what went into their design.
I looooovvveee Nordic Noir television shows. So, doing some of my own research around how this type of noir developed I came across this podcast, titled appropriately: Nordic Noir. This is not a series to listen to, but a historic view of the development of this genre in this particular region in the world.
This post is short and sweet, and I hope you find something in these shares.