What is it to have faith? Faith is about believing in something you can’t prove. I can’t prove that when I start a creative project I’m going to see it through, that I’m going to create something I’m proud of, or that I’m going to have success.
When a writer starts a novel, when a musician starts a song, when a sculptor starts a new project there is no way of knowing what the results will be. But they start anyway.
Yep. It’s frightening even terrifying at times and without faith in the process creatives may not make a start at all.
When I started to prepare for my upcoming residency at RM Gallery I only had a vague idea of a starting point – no idea how the process would go let alone the outcome. And it is nerve racking, part of me is constantly criticising the process and sabotaging my faith in my ability. And, that’s absolutely normal.
Creativity isn’t always easy, and it’s not always fun. I love being a creative but sometimes it’s just bloody hard work, and most of that is inner-work for me, combatting fears and overcoming my own insecurities. But, with all that I have faith in the process.
Faith isn’t completely blind. This is where we need to remember the things we have done before. Even though they may not be the same, the process may differ, the creative project may be completely different, we have accomplished things before. We’ve done stuff!! When in doubt try to take your mind back and remember that thing you did… at the time you also didn’t think you could do it, or didn’t know how your were going to do it – but you did it! You did that thing! Whatever it was, you did it! So faith in the process is not completely blind.
Below is a recent Vlog I did, where I comment on my process and admit that I don’t know exactly where this project is taking me – but that’s OK, as I believe in the process.
Remember to keep going. Have faith. You can do it.
Is it too late? Am I too old? Am I too young? Do I know enough about this topic? Do I have enough experience? Am I too jaded? What will people think? What will my family think? I can’t start something new now! How do I start? There are already so many people doing it. There’s so many talented people out there. No one would care about it. People will think it’s stupid…
And on and on it goes. You know what I’m talking about.
What the hell! Really? Stop it! How on earth can you let creativity be part of your life if you are starting on this note?
It’s not too late. Your not too young or too old. And experience comes with doing, so if you want it, you have to do it. You are your best friend, you are your own ally. Creativity isn’t for those ‘arty’ ones, it’s for everyone.
I’ve been creating stuff… songs, poetry, films for over 2 decades for myself and professionally and I still have all those insecure thoughts. I still get nervous and doubt myself, we all do, it’s not just you. I don’t know anyone that doesn’t. But those people who can get past the thoughts and push through are the ones that achieve some sort of creative progress.
Thoughts really get in the way. But they’re just thoughts. Yep, just thoughts. Say it 10 times. They’re just thoughts.
Ask yourself, what is the worse thing that could happen if I take that pottery class, or learn photoshop skills online? You could find that it’s not for you, OR you could find some joy.
I’ve gone through the creative process a few times now, and if something is nerve racking I’m probably on the right path. Creativity isn’t cookie cutter, it’s part exploration part expression; it opens us up to see the world differently. It gives us confidence to fail and succeed- both as important as the other.
So don’t believe those thoughts of yours because they’re just thoughts.
Hello everyone, I hope you are all well. I’ve been thinking a lot about validation recently and because of this thought it would be a good time to write about it. I’ve been thinking about it because I’ve realised that even though I paint, and write poetry I am very unsure of myself in these areas because I have had little or no training, and I’ve never been involved professionally in them.
At the moment, if you have been reading the ‘Art in Process’ posts, you will know that I’m working towards a residency at RM Gallery where I will be making an experimental film. The process of making this film has been hugely challenging, however I find myself confident even when I’m unsure about this new method of ‘making’. I think this is mainly due to the fact that I’ve been involved in creating moving image for quite some time both commercially and artistically. I feel like I don’t need validation to continue on, I’m confident in the process and confident in myself when it comes to this type of creativity.
So, does experience and training validate creativity? Good question.
Validation stems from the term ‘valid’. The original French ‘valide’ was to do with the law – having something legally binding. However the Latin term ‘validus’ seems more likely to be what I’m getting at; ‘validus’ means strong, powerful, active. The Proto-Indio-European root word is ‘wal’: to be strong, “sufficiently to be supported by facts or authority, well-grounded.”
There is a lot here to unpack, especially when creativity and the act of an individual creating is completely personal. I love this quote:
“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique.”
Could the validation then be OF and FROM ourselves. OF expresses the relationship between artist and work. ‘The work OF you’. FROM expresses that you are the source. If we are unique as Graham suggests then the validation is supported by the fact – the work is ‘OF and FROM us’. We can be strong, powerful and active knowing that only we could ever make this exact piece. Our validation is already in the work.
So, even though we may not have experience or training – validation is already part of our uniqueness – and we can’t take our uniqueness out of our creativity.
Hope you have a great week. Catch you next time xx
Can’t believe it’s the start of May already. I’ve got six weeks until I begin at RM Gallery, so I need to press on. It’s been a very busy week, and I didn’t get a lot of research accomplished but I will continue on.
One thing I have been doing is re-watching films from early avant-garde filmmakers. It’s interesting to see the development of film following the great art-movements of the early 20th century like; Dadaism, Surrealism, German Expressionism and such. I’ve never enjoyed the aesthetic of Surrealism in the plastic arts, but now find myself caught up in these 1920 and 30’s films, especially Un Chien Andalou (1929) by Luis Buñuel and Salvador Dali. There is a looseness to the work, which I’m intrigued by. Marcel Ducamp’s film Everyday (1929), which I cited in What the heck am I doing, has more of a structuralist approach – very tightly edited, extremely controlled, but Un Chien Andalou allows for more abstraction in association between each image in a sequence.
I’ve never worked this way myself – but might try experimenting with this in editing. Not sure. But I want to push myself and this to me would feel very uncomfortable – so that must be a good thing.
I want to also look at the Russian filmmakers again, especially Sergei Eisenstein, Dziga Vertov, Lev Kuleshov and Vsevolod Pudovkin. Eisenstein, of course well known for developing the montage. I’m not sure I see these filmmakers as avant-garde probably more experimental if I have to come up with a label. However, their use of montage is intriguing and I know it did influence the Surrealists at the time.
The only other thing I’ve been doing towards the research is pondering. Yep, pondering. Especially on the development of the ‘event’ in my last post. I had a good conversation with a friend about how the narrative should develop technically. For example, if I’m developing the idea of a spiral narrative form inspired by a shell the camera could constantly be moving in a spiral formation. So another layer to ponder on. And of course sound! How to develop sound is something I also need to think about – so pondering is important.
That’s all from me. I’m just continuing on. I didn’t get done what I thought I would, but sometimes life has other plans and gets in the way of our creative intensions.
I hope you all have a great week. Let me know about your own creative endeavours.
Out of all the natural objects I’ve collected, I didn’t think the pinecone was going to be the pivot-point for this research. In last week’s blog I put up a photo and a drawing of a pinecone, and the two main ideas that come from brainstorming around this shape was ‘vacancy’ and ‘layers’. Then I decided to reduce the pinecone into an abstract drawing, then into a more diagrammatical image. I just allowed myself to mull on these images, without rushing.
This is hard to do. Just being and thinking is hard to do.
In this mode of ‘mulling’ I come up with an approach to narrative that I don’t think I would have thought of without this reflective process. Which gives me some confidence in the work. It is difficult to push ahead, especially without knowledge of where the project is heading. I guess this comes from judging what I have done before and projecting that into the future. What I mean is that if I haven’t done something before, I can’t judge it on my past work. So the lack of knowledge or lack of known pathways can cause discomfort. But I have to push through.
So, the pinecone. Who knew?
I thought the research would be based around the spiral in the shell, or the speckles in a river stone. I wasn’t going to even use a pinecone, it was a random decision on my part. And, I wonder if because the shell and the stone already have connotations of narrative to me in their make-up they are in a way loaded in the research. But this pinecone I’d never intended to use, so my thoughts were a lot more free to roam and question how this object could inspire narrative or narrative structure.
The words I initially used to describe the sketch of the pinecone, ‘vacancy’ and ‘layers’ have not been developed. Rather the idea of an ‘event’ presented itself. How to develop that further, will be the work of this coming week. But I’m quietly confident I can work with this idea. It certainly has potential for narrative or non-narrative exploration depending on how I develop it further.
The ‘event’ could seem very similar to the ’cause and effect’ approach of conventional narrative filmmaking, however, I believe the concept of the ‘event’ can strike a deeper philosophical meaning.
So, where to from here?
First I will analyse the term ‘event’ starting with the etymology and then look at any writers or artists that have used or been inspired by the term.
I’ll leave it there for this week. Catch you next time xx.
Oh… before I forget – I wanted to say I’ve posted my very first Vlog. So if you want to see me chatting about this research click here.
This post is going to go over what the heck I’m doing, how I got to this point, and how I’m jumping into process no-matter if I don’t actually know what the final outcome will look like.
I’ve written in my posts over this year that I’m working towards an art residency that begins in the middle of June and runs till the end of July at RM Gallery in Tāmaki Makaurau Auckland.
An arts residency is difficult to qualify in terms of: what it is or what is expected from the gallery, as galleries will have very different processes and expectations. I applied last year for this residency, as I had already exhibited at RM and found that there was mutual understandings around art and community – so I wanted to engage with them again. In my application I discussed how my main practice is moving-image and my interest in exploring different approaches to ‘making’. Instead of fitting content to the usual commercially driven narrative structures, my intention was to take objects of nature: for example, a shell or a feather, and analyse these objects structurally and then use that information to influence how story or theme unfold. Luckily the gallery was interested in my application and they are very open to what outcomes forge out of my research and creative practice.
So, now I’m 8 weeks out from the residency. The residency consists of a working space to create work and has wifi, a kitchen, a wet area and quite a lot of tools and resources for art-practice.
Going back – I’ve been making moving-image for a long while now. I’ve worked in television, film, corporate video, social media content, even done a wedding or two, and now I teach it. However, lately my main interest in moving-image has taken a turn towards art film, avant-garde film, experimental film, poetical film and DIY filmmaking. This interest started quite some time ago, however at the time I was still engaging with the commercial industry as well. It’s only in the last couple of years that I have committed to an arts-practice approach to my moving-image making.
Since January I’ve been slowly researching my idea, which looks like reading, viewing, drawing and taking notes. And I’m at the “What the heck am I doing?” stage. I’m asking myself that a lot. And if you are also engaging in a creative process and feel a bit lost in it all – it’s OK. It’s actually part of the process. There’s always this moment, many moments when self doubt kicks in, even confusion or a feeling that the idea and project is sh*t. But this is where you push on, keep moving, even if you don’t know exactly where you are headed.
The latest object I’ve been working with is a pinecone. (So difficult to draw). The main aspect of the pinecone that I’m interested in structurally is ‘layers’. There is so much you can do with layers, I jotted down a few ideas but I think I need to think about layers more, before I go into the next stage. So for this week, I want to look at the idea of layers conceptually, and what it means for storytelling in moving-image. I have some ideas.
I just re-watched Marcel Duchamp’s Anemic Cinema (1926), where he is super inspired by Dadaism and reduced form to shape and movement. I’m really interested in this type of graphic reduction, and my intention for this week is to play with reducing the ideas of ‘layers’ into a diagrammatic image – this will be a 2D drawing, but will allow myself to think-and-play further on the concept of ‘layers’. Actually Duchamp’s Everyday(1929) is very much a layering of plot and character to create form and intensify the theme of modernity at work. If you haven’t seen it, it is worth a watch.
As I said at the beginning of this post, I don’t know where I’m going or what the final outcome will look and sound like. But that’s perfectly OK. I know I’m gaining momentum and I just have to trust myself in this process.
If you are in the middle of a creative process, let me know down below how you are going…..
Well it’s been another month since I posted last and not another week… life has squeezed me. Now I’m only 2 months out from my residency at RM Gallery – and I need to get the shit done. So yes I will be blogging – and I’m going to start Vlogging EEEKKK- and YES it will be every week. I commit to that. I’m going to do it. Haha.
I’ve decided that the output for this residency will be an experimental film, or maybe avant-garde film is a better definition, as even though I’ll be using and experimenting with technology, the main focus of the research is to create film outside and pushing against main-stream cinema. But definitions aren’t everything when it comes to this type of film, you could call it art-film, poetry-film or underground film: something that is not narrative driven.
If you’ve read the other previous posts in 2021 Art in Process series you will see what I’m being influenced by and the ideas so far. I have done more research – I justI haven’t blogged it.
About the above image: I wrote a letter to myself about the research and then drew around the words that made up each line – then used colour and texture to create something aesthetic. Because I have been using objects of nature to inspire diagrammatic drawings, I wanted to consider how to create a diagrammatic drawing from what I would usually use to start a film project, “sentences”. I haven’t analysed it yet, but I’ve found it a thoughtful exercise.
What I’m doing this week is gathering examples of avant-garde film that intrigues or inspires me in some way. So next week (YES next week), I will link what I have found, and discuss why these types of film are of interest to this project.
Also I’m working on my first Vlog – nervous as heck. But I’ll do it anyway.
I haven’t been blogging for several weeks, but I did do some work on my project. It’s pretty difficult at the moment to make time for everything, but I’m trying to spend a little time a few days a week, which does add up. I’d love to be more methodical in my routines, but, yeah, just never happens.
My approach for the last several weeks was much the same as week 4, but accomplished more using nature to inspire the structure of possible storytelling. I’m trying to see if I can develop a method, so then I could possibly lead a workshop in it – which would be fun and hopefully beneficial to those who attend.
So, the method seems to be working, however I need to repeat it a few more times and develop it into something more substantial so there are more divergent ways someone could use it, but I am beginning to see the potential. Last week I took a piece of grass we have here in New Zealand, which we locally call Harestail Grass, but which is formally called, Lagurus ovatus, and although it is originally from the Mediterranean, it is found in most coastal areas. It’s a pretty grass, soft and used often in dried flower arrangements, so it’s a good example to keep.
Like in week 4, I first described the object – not scientifically, just on what I could see. I didn’t draw it this time, however, I did spend a lot of time looking at it and thinking about its qualities. Then I chose 3 of those qualities to explore.
There is a lot in one stalk of grass! I decided to choose 3 points of inspiration to carry on with, brainstorm and explore. These were:
Life after death
Peeling back layers.
At this point I created 3 structural diagrams. This process is totally intuitive, I’m not a mathematician or statistician, all I’m doing is taking inspiration from nature to inspire the creation of structure and it helps me to draw a diagram of sorts.
So, for ‘random’ a drew dots and just randomly connected them, for ‘life after death’ I drew a timeline backwards, and for ‘peeling back layers’ I started off in a linear fashion but then drew parts returning to a point and going somewhere else from there. From this process I decided to take ‘peeling back layers’ one further step.
You can see this on the right hand side of the image. I have worked narrative into the diagram, tried to see where and when plot points could be returned to. Again just an idea at this stage, another exercise which furthers this particular project. From this point, a story could be formed and placed within the narrative – just thinking – it may be beneficial to create several structures and layer one story over all of them to see how they develop or unfold. I guess this would be called plot – the story is told through plot.
That’s all my notes and developments at this stage.
Today I spent some time thinking about a ‘shell’. Yep a small sea-shell and how it could inspire me.
It is a process.
To understand what I’m on about you will probably need to glance over week 1 – 3, however, I’m working towards a body of art-work and interactive media for an exhibition later this year. The project is based around being influenced by elements of nature to create structures of narrative.
Surprisingly it did – inspire me, the shell. I first drew it and then just listed elements I could see and feel. Things like: lines of spots, 3 rings, textured, neutral colours… and so forth. It took a bit of contemplation and for a while I was thinking, ‘what the heck am I doing?’ – how is this shell going to inspire the structure of a interactive media installation??
I think one thing to remember is to that the process will happen, you just gotta have a little creative faith.
Once I had listed the elements of the shell, I decided to choose 3 elements that could structurally work for story telling. I chose:
Shape has function
Once I had chosen this list I wrote what they could mean for story structure. (They could mean anything – this is just what I came up with).
Shape has function: The way the story works has function for the content
3 circles: 3 parts, or 3 points of view
Live edge: Nothing static, plot points have a living quality, some paths could go nowhere, or characters fall away (like life)
Then I started crafted the very first stages of a story together. It came a lot quicker at this point than I imagined, but by now I was really open, allowing the process to just unfold without my critical mind getting in the way.
I broke the story up into 3 parts, a diary entry, a text, and the description of the world. Once I had those parts, I just wrote, which you can see on the left – yes, I tend to work backwards…
Absolute draft stages, and I don’t think I will carry on with this story – it was just my first attempt to see if nature could inspire structure. And obviously it can. Still a lot to work through – but that is what process is all about.
This attempt only took 1 – 2 hours, I had to walk away a few times just to let me mind think of something else, then I would come back and contemplate a bit more. It’s how I work. I will try again through this week with another item. Drawing the object first was a good start, it just allowed me to be with the shell for a while, also choosing 3 of the descriptions worked well, it gave boundaries for creating structure. So I will do both those things next time, and try a few others as well.