Dear Creative #2

How much we value something corresponds to how much energy we give out. If we value our job, because it pays for the necessities in life we give it our energy. If we value a friend or family member we give energy to those people.

Right?

So, does that mean when we have been at work all day, and connected with the people in our lives the rest of our energy is put into scrolling, eating badly, binge watching Netflix… and so on.

What is happening?

We know we value aspects of our lives. For example, if I asked you to create a list of the most valuable parts of your life you would probably start with people you love and then move onto passions and pastimes that bring you joy.

Raglan, New Zealand

What’s never on the list, but in my mind should be at the top, is YOU. Not what you like to ‘do’, just YOU. So, my list, for example, of aspects in my life that I most value should look something like:

• Julia
• People in my life I care for
• Creativity
• Spending time in nature
• Work

Just an example, but I’ve never written a list that starts with ‘me’ and I can confidently assume you don’t normally think of valuing yourself first in this way either. I mean we all know the metaphor about putting the oxygen mask on ourselves first before we help others. And, most of us acknowledge that we are important- but have we ever committed to actually prioritising ourselves in a way that firmly places us first.

It seems selfish. Maybe if we did that we won’t be able to serve others. Maybe we will end up completely narcissistic???

I don’t think so. Actually the opposite will happen. I dare you to add up all the scrolling time you engage in within a week and spend half of that time on you. Meditating, eating well, reading… whatever it is that creates a connection with yourself.

Value yourself. Make yourself top priority. See what happens.

Catch you next time xx

Dear Creative #1

Dear Creative, what if I asked the question, How are you? What would be your reply? Would you say something like, “fine” or “all good” or “not bad’” a standard socially acceptable reply where both parties welcome an exchange that doesn’t expect connection.

So, I’m going to ask the question:

How are you? No, really. How are you?

Yes, I understand that sometimes you need to say, “I’m fine,” and move on, we all do that. But also allow yourself to connect occasionally. We need to connect, you need connection.

I was watching Queer Eye on Netflix the other day, and a person on the show said, “it’s easier to exist than live.” It struck me. Sometimes I admit I do just exist. I go through the motions, I don’t look up at people and smile when passing, I don’t give the supermarket checkout person eye contact. I just go through my day unconnected, distracted, caught up in the past and worried about the future.

Sound familiar?

But it’s OK. Just stop for a moment. Take a breathe. Feel your feet on the ground, just be present for this moment.

Taken on a early morning walk

What are you going through right now? Sickness? Busy with work and family? Mental health? Financial difficulties? A feeling of isolation? Maybe you haven’t had anytime to be creative? Maybe being creative is just so off your radar right now.

And that’s OK. Just stop. Take a breathe.

Standing in ourselves is difficult to do. being aware of our surroundings, connecting with people we love and with strangers takes effort. But it’s worth it.

If you haven’t been able to connect, try to challenge yourself today. Send a text to a friend you haven’t heard from in a while. If you are feeling more brave, make time to visit or meet up. And, when they ask you that… question. “How are you?” Dig a little deeper. Make a connection.

Let me know in the comments below how you enjoy connecting with others.

Catch you next time xx