December Diary: 2021 Day Four

I am an artist. I am creative. Isn’t that good to say, out loud. Just say it.

Even if you don’t think that about yourself. Say it anyway. Out loud! “I am an artist.” Because we are all artists. We might not be painters or illustrators or potters but we are artful, we all create. And so we should celebrate.

Pic of the day: This is a book title by Bob and Roberta Smith

Being artful, means you ‘think’ creatively, you let yourself explore, be curious, be playful with ideas.

If you, for some reason, have become stuck in routine or are feeling melancholy or perhaps things feel overwhelming this is where being artful can spark a fresh angle on life. It can be a simple as getting out of bed on the other side, taking a different route to work or having lunch in the park instead of the office.

Being artful suggests play. And play opens our mind to seeing the world a-new. Just try it.

I believe that we experience life the way we view it. Meaning if we view life as meaningless, or negatively we will experience life in that way. However, if we see life playfully, if life is a curious and full of possibilities then we will experience life more positively. I suffer from depression and I know what it means to think about life negativity but one of my greatest assets is the ability to play.

Playfulness could be difficult if you are not use to it. I would start with identifying something in your life that you feel is negative or not how you would like it to be and imagine it differently. Start small. Maybe your cubicle at work is depressing you. How could you transform it. Think of what a cubicle would look like from the keyboards perspective, think of a cubicle floating in space, think of a hit song titled “The Magic Cubicle”. Sound weird? Good. Think about it differently, have fun in your mind. Now think about how you can make it a beautiful space to work in.

There is no end to play, no one can take your imagination away. It’s all yours.

Just following on from yesterday. It is our shift day, and as I write this the movers are here with our carefully packed boxes. I’m sitting in the car keeping out of their way. Our possessions at the moment are in a truck. It’s a very odd feeling and I will be glad when the boxes are loaded into the new place.

Grateful

I am grateful we have been able to afford movers this time. Shifting house is super stressful and having people to assist is such a blessing. I am very fortunate.

Hope you are all well.

Catch you tomorrow xx and remember to PLAY

December Diary: 2021 Day Three

It is the last night in our house before the shifters arrive tomorrow. It’s been pretty hectic getting packed up and ready to move while being in ‘lock-down’ and working pretty much full-time. But such is life, can’t complain. Actually I’m extremely grateful.

Tomorrow brings a new chapter.

A fresh start. Change. Movement.

As I said in the last couple of posts, the apartment is smaller than our current situation and it has been the best time to get rid of unwanted, unused, stuff and think about what new items we will bring into our lives. I think we will be much more intentional this time around.

I have two more weeks of work, and then I’m off for a month to enjoy the holidays with family and a much needed rest. I truely believe this year has been my hardest. So much has happened, and I’m not even talking about the pandemic. During my time off I want to reflect on my YouTube channel. Re-think how I am putting myself out there.

As an audience member of YouTube, I know what I enjoy and why it brings value to my experience of engaging with online content, but it is very difficult to create it. Ha ha – but I love doing it, so keep on keeping on.

Pic of the Day: Early morning walk at Cornwallis Beach this morning.

Gratitude

I’m thankful for the sunshine today. It popped in and out of the clouds all day and seemed to be there when I needed it most. I find that sunshine is so critical to my mental health.

Hope you are all well.

Catch you tomorrow xx

December Diary: 2021 Day Two

I always feel as if December has extraordinary energy. A little too heightened at times, but full of possibilities. I don’t know if it is because it’s the last month of the year or because of holidays, or something else. In the southern hemisphere it is the first month of summer, so maybe it is the fresh heat, the summer wind – I’m not sure, maybe it is a mixture of all these things. But I do recognise the energy and I thrive in it.

I feel like a cat caught in a ray of sun, soaking it all up, unable to move away. I love December. Today was a particularly good day. We finally picked up our keys to the new apartment. New to us – it is actually a bit of a do-up. But a new exciting adventure. Once we picked up the keys we went and spent some time in the apartment. It was our first time there without the realestate agent. Isn’t it odd that the most expensive thing you purchase in life (if you are fortunate enough) is something you hardly get to see. Anyway, we hung out, opened the windows and doors, listened to the sounds and tried to imagine all our furniture fitting in and making a home.

Photo of the day: Keys to our apartment

Shifting is hard to do, not just physically, but emotionally, and mentally. I love change, I want it and need it, but at the same time I resist, the ‘same’ seems safe. So, today I’ve been a bit up and down, one minute I’m excited looking forward to all the ‘new’ and the next moment I’m feeling nervous and wondering if we have done the right thing. But that is life I guess. That is change.

Gratitude

Today I’m grateful that our cat ‘kitty’ can go to a cattery for a few days while we shift. Although I miss her, I know she will hate all the boxing, and shifting that is going to happen. I’m also grateful for that summer wind, I was talking about before, it brings with it a fresh cool touch and a feeling that anything is possible.

Chat tomorrow xx

At The Horizon

Finally we are here. The interactive poetical documentary ‘At The Horizon’ is online and free to view for two weeks, from 25 November till 8 December 2021.

To view click here

Installation of ‘At The Horizon” at RM Gallery 2020

I want to point out that for viewing reasons the interaction is much better on a desktop, laptop or tablet. It is not made for phone viewing, so you may encounter glitches if you watch from there.

I first started thinking about the documentary in 2016 and this is when I interviewed my mother, and from that point the idea of ‘At The Horizon’ unfolded. I finished the work late 2020 and it had its debut at RM gallery in Tāmaki Makaurau Auckland, since then, however, and due to continuing lockdowns, the work has not been able to have public viewings. It is this reason that I have put the work online, holding my own exhibition if you will.

So Please go to the website and check it out. Then let me know down below, or feel free to ask questions.

Putting Myself “out there”.

Hi everyone, I hope you are all well.

I’m contemplating, reflecting on the feeling or experience of “putting myself out there”, sharing online, writing this Blog and recently starting a YouTube channel.

It’s difficult, amazing, fun, hard, and very humbling. It’s humbling because part of me wants or needs success, and I’m told that success is measured in views and reads: the more subscribers, the more engagement, click-throughs… and so on. Numbers measure how successful I am.

But on reflection…

That’s not why I started these things. I get caught up in posts like “How to grow your channel”, and I forget that I started it for fun, to share, to grow and to challenge myself.

I’ve been treating myself to cut flowers once a week

So, I have given myself a reality check. If I want to keep going, I need to remind myself that success comes from within, not externally.

Success – gets the best of us. It questions our own beliefs, makes us feel not good enough, makes us compare – and I don’t want to be part of that.

My creativity and the way I share is mine. I don’t have to follow a formula or pattern that someone says makes a successful blog of vlog…

I’m going to be strong, and do what I want – because that is valid. What and how I want to share isn’t measured in numbers.

That’s me this week. I little wake-up call. Standing up for myself, being my best friend, listening to my own advice.

If you want to know what I think more extensively on the topic, I’ve written a 2 part blog on success: linked below:

Success Part One

Success Part Two

Put yourself out there, share if you want to, but choose your own success.

Catch you next time.

NAVIGATING CHANGE – through the creative process

I’ve made a YouTube video about this, about what I’m going through and how I’m adjusting to change and preparing for change. Things we need to think about, plan and put into action.

For more on this please click here

I think change is one of the hardest aspects of life, but also one of the most essential, we can’t allow ourselves to stagnate, we need change, we need to move forward, we need to take risks and be brave. The quote below is exactly how I feel about it. Don’t fester on the things you are letting go or saying goodbye to, but face forward.

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new” 

Socrates

Short but sweet this week. It’s all in the video so check it out.

Catch you next week xx

Connect to your Creativity

Connection – how to feel connected. Not to others, (although that is important), but to ourselves, so our creativity isn’t something we are striving for. This is what I’m getting out of Week 6 in Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way.

Last year I started The Artist’s Way – and only got to Week 6, out of the 12 Week course. You can read the beginning of last years attempts here, is you so wish. This time I’m going to get to the end!!! Haha, that is my mission. This time through I’m finding out new things about being creative and I’m discovering my artist blocks more readily.

My new messy creative space

For me, connection is about letting the process take on a journey, rather than controlling everything I do. Just allowing myself to create, free from judgement, or comparison. I’ve been reading a little bit from Alan Watts lately and appreciate his take on good/bad, right/wrong and that these supposed opposites are just sides of the same thing.

Thinking about creativity, this idea helps me to let go of making ‘bad art’, as art is art. Good or bad is a judgement, that doesn’t relate to my creativity, my process, or my connection with myself in order to create. If we can let go of the outcome, I think connection is much more available to us.

I love this quote:

Have no fear of perfection, you’ll never reach it.

Salvador Dali

Part of Week 6 in The Artist’s Way is about perfectionism and how it stifles creativity. I wouldn’t call myself a perfectionist, I’m more messy and seem to be happy in my mess and not bothered if people see me in it – however, and it’s a BIG HOWEVER: I do still care what people think – and I can put that ahead of my process. Many times I’ve changed tack because of what was expected, or what I thought people wanted, rather than staying true to myself. And, I just caught myself doing that again recently. So, obviously something or some fear I have, I’m holding onto.

I guess creativity is a process, just as we are a process. Makes sense if we can connect to it then.

Hope you are all well. Let me know about your artist endeavours.

Catch you next time xx

2021 – Art in Process: Leading the Blind

If I were blind I’d rather have another blind person leading me around because they know what I’m dealing with and they’re experiencing the same things. 

Augusten Burroughs

Been a while since I wrote a post, so a bit of a catch-up needed. I started my residency at RM Gallery a couple of weeks ago. My experimental film idea is making huge leaps and bounds now that I have more time to put into it. The space itself is peaceful to work in and the city vibe outside the door keeps my interests up.

At the same time though life has been particularly stressful. Not the art making – but everything else. And I think that is why I haven’t posted a lot. I did a YouTube clip about mental health and creativity, which I will link here. This kinda sums up how I’ve been. Very up and down, and just taking one day at a time.

What I want to briefly discuss in this weeks post is ‘process-led creativity.’ The process of this particular project has led the work and is leading the work. I did not, have not, and still do not know the exact outcome, instead I’m letting the process take me into the unknown.

Every creative project is different, every creative journey unique. I usually make work where I do know the outcome, for example; I am writing a web series, or I am painting a landscape… So letting the process lead is extremely challenging. When I began I looked towards nature to find and create the structure of the work, and somehow that process led me into ‘nurture’ – as in nurture vs nature, which I would have never imagined. So the content and themes are much more about nurture, and if it does finish as an experimental film, the viewer may never guess that nature had a part, so my creativity around being inspired by nature to create structure is somewhat hidden.

But, if we think of buildings, foundations and footings probably aren’t the first things you think about. I’ve spent time looking at patterns in nature to be inspired to create a structure but then moved onto thinking about nurture for the content. It seems understandable, but I didn’t know this when I started.

I would say not to be afraid to take this approach, but be prepared for radical shifts to happen. You will probably have a starting point but then allow the process to lead. You will get to the end – just not one you imagined at the beginning.

It’s a bit like writing a novel without chapter planning. It’s not for everyone – but it’s a hell-of-a-ride.

Catch you next time xx

2021 Art in Process: Is it too late?

Is it too late? Am I too old? Am I too young? Do I know enough about this topic? Do I have enough experience? Am I too jaded? What will people think? What will my family think? I can’t start something new now! How do I start? There are already so many people doing it. There’s so many talented people out there. No one would care about it. People will think it’s stupid…

And on and on it goes. You know what I’m talking about.

What the hell! Really? Stop it! How on earth can you let creativity be part of your life if you are starting on this note?

It’s not too late. Your not too young or too old. And experience comes with doing, so if you want it, you have to do it. You are your best friend, you are your own ally. Creativity isn’t for those ‘arty’ ones, it’s for everyone.

I’ve been creating stuff… songs, poetry, films for over 2 decades for myself and professionally and I still have all those insecure thoughts. I still get nervous and doubt myself, we all do, it’s not just you. I don’t know anyone that doesn’t. But those people who can get past the thoughts and push through are the ones that achieve some sort of creative progress.

I went to an abstract painting class for the first time – this is not great art, it’s me making creative progress.

Thoughts really get in the way. But they’re just thoughts. Yep, just thoughts. Say it 10 times. They’re just thoughts.

Ask yourself, what is the worse thing that could happen if I take that pottery class, or learn photoshop skills online? You could find that it’s not for you, OR you could find some joy.

I’ve gone through the creative process a few times now, and if something is nerve racking I’m probably on the right path. Creativity isn’t cookie cutter, it’s part exploration part expression; it opens us up to see the world differently. It gives us confidence to fail and succeed- both as important as the other.

So don’t believe those thoughts of yours because they’re just thoughts.

Catch you next time xx.

2021 Art in Process: Validation

Hello everyone, I hope you are all well. I’ve been thinking a lot about validation recently and because of this thought it would be a good time to write about it. I’ve been thinking about it because I’ve realised that even though I paint, and write poetry I am very unsure of myself in these areas because I have had little or no training, and I’ve never been involved professionally in them.

At the moment, if you have been reading the ‘Art in Process’ posts, you will know that I’m working towards a residency at RM Gallery where I will be making an experimental film. The process of making this film has been hugely challenging, however I find myself confident even when I’m unsure about this new method of ‘making’. I think this is mainly due to the fact that I’ve been involved in creating moving image for quite some time both commercially and artistically. I feel like I don’t need validation to continue on, I’m confident in the process and confident in myself when it comes to this type of creativity.

So, does experience and training validate creativity? Good question.

Validation stems from the term ‘valid’. The original French ‘valide’ was to do with the law – having something legally binding. However the Latin term ‘validus’ seems more likely to be what I’m getting at; ‘validus’ means strong, powerful, active. The Proto-Indio-European root word is ‘wal’: to be strong, “sufficiently to be supported by facts or authority, well-grounded.”

There is a lot here to unpack, especially when creativity and the act of an individual creating is completely personal. I love this quote:

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique.”

Martha Graham

Could the validation then be OF and FROM ourselves. OF expresses the relationship between artist and work. ‘The work OF you’. FROM expresses that you are the source. If we are unique as Graham suggests then the validation is supported by the fact – the work is ‘OF and FROM us’. We can be strong, powerful and active knowing that only we could ever make this exact piece. Our validation is already in the work.

So, even though we may not have experience or training – validation is already part of our uniqueness – and we can’t take our uniqueness out of our creativity.

Hope you have a great week. Catch you next time xx